A Yankee Baker Christmas Cookie Baking Bonanza

Well, my friends, it's that time of year: the end of the year, the holiday season, when things are frantic and hectic and I attempt on THREE separate occasions to post this and don't actually get around to it till today.  I meant to put at least half this post up two weeks ago, then the whole thing a week ago, but here it is finally--better late than never.  It's also lacking pictures for now, because I am in the great wilds of the northward (aka New Jersey) and didn't bring my box of 64 with me.  I will illustrate when I'm back in the South, I promise.

So, since it is the holiday season, I did A LOT of baking to give as gifties.  Everyone loves a good cookie, so I did 6 different human cookies and a great dog cookie, which I offer here for you to try yourselves.  I made most of the doughs a week in advance and froze them, which is a genius idea if you ever have lots of cookies to make and not very much time on your hands.  Cookie dough will actually freeze for months, so feel free to plan WAY early if you must.  Also, keep a stock of frozen dough so you have a delicious friend to turn to on a bad day.

Hokay, so cookies.  I'm giving these puppies as gifts to certain loved ones, so I tried to cover an array of tastes and textures.  It was hard to whittle down my options (there are so many delicious options out there!), but I narrowed it down to Walnut Chocolate Chip, Mint Chip (which I am affectionately calling Grinch Cookies for the holidays), Sugar Sparkle, Hedgehogs, Oatmeal Craisin and Flourless Peanut Butter.

I.  First, a classic: Walnut Chocolate Chip.  You could make these just plain ol' chocolate chips, if you prefer, but I'm a big fan of nuts, so I always put them in my cookies.  This recipe is actually designed to be given as a gift to the cookie lover in your life; just layer the dry ingredients in a quart sized mason jar, top the lid with some appropriately themed fabric and ribbon and include the recipe for the final product.  These puppies were party favours at my friends' wedding shower last year and I literally got compliments for months every time someone got around to making their cookies.  It was especially good to hear the praise considering I lugged 30 of these suckers on a train from my house to the party two and a half states away.  If this doesn't seem like that big a deal, just ask the porter how much these things weigh and how long it took his back to realign after lugging my suitcase full of cookies onto the train.

Dry Ingredients: Mix 1 teaspoon salt and 1 teaspoon baking soda into 2 cups flour.  Layer flour mixture plus 1 cup brown sugar, 1/2 cup white sugar and 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips in a jar to give as a gift--or just dump this all into the wet ingredients when it's time.

Recipe: Preheat oven to 375 degrees.  Cream 1 cup (2 sticks) butter.  Beat in 1 egg and 1 teaspoon vanilla.  Add dry ingredients from the jar, plus 1 cup chopped walnuts.  Drop by teaspoonfuls onto a greased cookie sheet and bake 8-10 minutes, until golden brown.  Cool on a wire rack.

II.  In my research for interesting recipes to try, I came across a delicious sounding spin on chocolate chippers: Mint Chip Cookies, which I am dubbing in celebration of the season, Grinch Cookies.  The recipe I found was fairly complicated and involved buying a lot more things than I wanted to, so basically all I took from it was the mint extract and green food dye and applied it to my chocolate chip recipe (but no nuts).  So to make grinch cookies, follow the recipe above, adding 1 teaspoon mint extract and 10 drops green food dye to the butter/egg/vanilla mixture.  Then add the same dry ingredients (minus the nuts) and bake.  They're like mint chocolate chip ice cream you can hold in your hand and not get frostbite!

III.  We have, in a previous post, discussed my hatred of raisins, so when it comes to oatmeal cookies, you know I don't make them with shrivelled grapes.  I use shrivelled cranberries instead!  Plus craisins, in addition to being more delicious, are more festive, being red.  To make yourself some Oatmeal Craisin Cookies, preheat your oven to 375 degrees.  Beat 3/4 cup butter.  Add in 1 cup brown sugar, 1/2 cup white sugar, 1 teaspoon baking powder, 1/4 teaspoon baking soda, 1/4 teaspoon salt, 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon and 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves.  Beat until combined.  Beat in 2 eggs and 1 teaspoon vanilla.  Add 1 1/2 cups flour.  Stir in 2 cups rolled oats and 1 cup craisins (1 cup walnuts is also a good idea).  Drop by teaspoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheets and bake 8-10 minutes.  Cool on the sheet one minute, then transfer to cool on wire racks.

IV.  Sugar cookies, I feel, traditionally get rolled out, cut out, and blinged out with icing and sprinkles at Christmastime.  Ain't nobody got time for that when you're doing All the Baking in one day (and yes, I did just use two internet memes in one sentence), so I did something a little simpler and somewhat elegant.  To make your Sugar Sparkle Cookies, preheat your oven to 375 degrees.  Beat 1 cup softened butter.  Add 1 1/2 cups sugar until combined.  Beat in 2 eggs, 1 teaspoon cream of tartar (or 1 teaspoon baking powder plus 1/4 teaspoon baking soda), 1 teaspoon baking soda, 1 teaspoon vanilla and 1/4 teaspoon salt.  Add 2 3/4 cups flour.  Cover and chill dough 2-3 hours.  Roll dough into 1" balls, then roll in sugar--I used red, green and white sugar crystals for a more festive feel.  Place sugared balls on an ungreased cookie sheet and bake 9-12 minutes until slightly browned.  Cool on a wire rack.

V.  I am a big fan of adorable animals, and high up there on the list of precious things that make me squee are the pointy nosed, prickly backed denizens of English gardens called hedgehogs.  So when I found a cookie made to look like these dangerously cuddly little fellas, you know I had to make them.  This is a simple butter cookie shaped and dressed in delicious and looks almost too adorable to eat (but they are delicious, so you totally should).  Preheat your oven to 375 degrees.  Cream 1 cup softened butter and 3/4 cup sugar.  Add 1 egg and 1/2 teaspoon vanilla and combine.  In a separate bowl, combine 2 1/2 cups flour, 1 teaspoon baking powder and 1/4 teaspoon salt.  Add dry ingredients to the wet and combine.  Roll dough into balls about 1-1 1/2" balls.  Pinch a nose on one side of the ball and place on an ungreased cookie sheet.  Bake 6-8 minutes until dough is set but not browned.  Cool cookies on a wire rack.  Once cooled, melt chocolate chips in a bowl (about 1 cup--heat at half power for 30 seconds at a time, stirring in between heatings till smooth).  Carefully hold the "face" of the hedgehog and roll the rounded end in the chocolate (don't coat the bottom) and then roll in finely chopped or crushed walnuts (creating the spines).  Dip a chopstick in the chocolate and dot on two eyes and a nose to complete your super cute snack!

VI.  Flourless Peanut Butter Cookies were the one cookie I had some trouble with, so it's not being included in this year's gifts (I have standards to uphold).  I'm still including the recipe in case you have better success with it that I did, and I will continue to play with it and let you know if I finally figure it out.  I'm also including it because of all these recipes, I think this one would do best with a sugar substitution (as requested by a diabetic friend of mine--you know who you are!).  I've found that using Splenda in a cookie recipe will not drastically alter the flavour, but it does affect the consistency, making the cookies poofy like pillows.  The best way to reduce the sugar in a cookie is to go halvsies--half sugar, half Splenda.  I haven't played with it yet, but I think because of the simplicity of this recipe, you could go full on Splenda and have the cookies work just fine (granted, they didn't work real well with full on sugar).  All you need for these cookies are 1 cup peanut butter (more experimenting will also be done with chunky versus creamy--I tried chunky this time around because old roommate left some behind and I don't eat it, but maybe smooth makes a better cookie),  1 cup sugar and 1 egg.  Mix well together, then roll dough into 1" balls and place on greased cookie sheets.  Flatten the balls slightly with the bottom of a glass that has been lightly greased and dipped in sugar.  Bake at 375 degrees for 9 minutes.  I might have gotten my cookies too thin, so they got too crispy and too cooked.  Nibbles for me!

VII.  Yankee Dog would have been very upset with me if I didn't make him any delicious things, so for the canines in your life, The Yankee Barkery offers Easy Peasy Dog Biscuits.  These snacks are easy to make and easy to customise: I made mine Chicken, Cheese and Parsley.  Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.  You will need 1 cup of broth (chicken, beef or veg, depending on pup's preference--dissolve one cube of bouillon in one cup of hot water).  Add the broth to 2 1/2 cups flour, 1 teaspoon salt and 1 egg.  This is the most basic recipe, but you can add any kind of delectable tidbits you'd like, such as bacon bits or cheese.  Knead your dough about 3 minutes, or until it forms up into a ball.  Roll it out to about 1/2" and cut it into shapes--I got festive with my mini Christmas cookie cutters.  Place the tasties on a lightly greased cookie sheet and bake for 30 minutes.  Yankee Dog loves them, and so will your pup!

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!  Yankee Dog and I hope your holiday is full of family, friends, good gifts and delicious things!

Congratulations, It's Not a Pumpkin!

Hello friends!  Hope we've all had time to clean the pumpkin from our systems--October is over, Thanksgiving is over, and I think by now most coffee shops have switched over from pumpkin spice to peppermint in preparation for the biggest commercial season of the year: Christmas.  I am working on a few special cookie recipes (originally I intended on doing the Twelve Days of Cookies, but the Thirteen Days of Pumpkin has convinced me this is a horrible idea) to share with you all in celebration of the season, but for now I submit for your approval a dinner recipe to warm your bellies in the chilly months (let's pretend it wasn't 68 degrees here today): Sausage and Rice Casserole.

This recipe is a throwback to my childhood, a staple on the dinnertable when my Gram would come to visit us--or at least, the original version of this recipe was.  Initially, I hated sausage and rice casserole night, because the version my mum and grandmother would whip up involved brown rice and celery, two things I refuse to eat, even as an adult.  Once I was old enough to cook for myself, I tweaked the recipe to appease my picky palate, and so I will offer you both versions and you can prepare whatever tickles your pickle (PS: I also don't eat pickles).

Preparation is pretty simple:

• Cook up 1 cup of your preferred rice (as in 1 cup dry; this will cook into about 3 cups prepared rice).  I use regular white rice; my maternal elders would insist on the long grain brown rice.
• Brown 1 tube of mild pork sausage, like Jimmy Dean or the stuff in the white and orange package, which we always used but I didn't discover is called Jamestown Brand till I moved down here.  Very apropos.  Chop up your sausage into little nuggets like you would ground beef.
• If you like nasty vegetables, you can brown some chopped onion and celery in the skillet with the sausage.  If you don't like these icky things, do as I do: sprinkle some onion powder over the sausage as it cooks (I like the taste of onion, but not the texture, so powdered or minced dehydrated onion is my best friend).  I don't worry about substituting for the celery; I don't like anything about it.
• Mix the rice and sausage (and optional icky veg) in a large casserole dish.  Add 1 can condensed cream of chicken soup.  Use about 3/4 can of milk to help dilute the soup.  Stir this all through the rice and sausage.
• Sprinkle some sliced or slivered almonds over the top of the casserole.  Bake 30-45 minutes at 350 degrees.

There's your casserole!  Hearty, delicious and simple.  Gram always made carrot-pineapple Jello to go along with it, this consisting of grated carrots and and crushed pineapple in lemon Jello; something about the citrusy-sweetness of the Jello salad paired nicely with the meaty goodness of the casserole.  I lacked two of the three ingredients needed to make it, so I had some of my homemade applesauce and it worked pretty well.

If you're looking for something tasty for dinner this week, give the sausage and rice casserole a try.  And gird your loins: cookies are coming soon!

The 13 Days of Pumpkin: Happy Hallowe'en!

Hallo, my friends!  It is the best day of the whole wide world: HALLOWE'EN!  It's even Yankee Dog's favourite day, since all kinds of friends come to visit him.  This year, he was dressed as SpideyPaws, the rare 10 legged spider, and since he was in costume, figured he could run off to the next house with a horde of children--and not just TO the house, but INTO the house.  He also tried nabbing candy out of the hands of countless children and knocked over a jack-o-lantern (very daintily and without fiery crisis), so needless to say, it's been an exciting evening for him.  An exciting day for me, too, because it meant carving aforementioned jack-o-lantern, and not just the one but FOUR!  I love love LOVE carving pumpkins, not just because it's fun to stick my hand elbow-deep in pumpkin guts and not just because they look mega awesome in the dark lit up, but because it means pumpkin seeds.  And so, without further ado, recipe #13: Roasted Pumpkin Seeds.

SpideyPaws!  SpideyPaws!  Does whatever a SpideyPaws does!

Save the seeds of your pumpkins as you scoop out the guts.  Separate as much of the goop from the seeds as you can.  Put some water in the bowl to help rinse more goo off the seeds, then drain them through a colander.  You'll have to wiggle the colander around a bit to shake the water from the seeds.  Next, line a few baking trays with paper towels and spread your seeds out in even, thin layers on each sheet.  Top with another layer of paper towel, patting to absorb as much moisture as you can.  Allow the seeds to dry over night.  I know this means a sad, long wait for your tasty, toasty seeds, but trust me, it's worth it.  Any time you want to roast a seed/nut/legume like product (peanuts, for example), you need to dry them out before roasting, or you can cook them for days and they will still be mushy and decidedly not delicious.  Thankfully, pumpkin seeds are thin and dry out pretty quickly.

That's a jar full of delicious, my friends!

The next day, all you need to do is remove the seeds from the paper towels (they have a tendency to adhere to the paper a bit).  Spray the seeds heavily with cooking spray and sprinkle with salt, tossing to coat thoroughly.  Bake at 350 degrees in ten minute intervals, stirring to encourage even toasting, until seeds are crispy and lightly golden (usually about 30 minutes).  Store them in something like a Mason jar and enjoy their salty, crunchy goodness at will!  Just be careful eating too many; they have crispy, crunchy edges that don't digest softly, if you catch my drift.

Happy hauntings, my friends!

The 13 Days of Pumpkin: In Which We Get a Little British With Our Desserts

So I slacked a little the other day--long day at work and just too stinking tired to bake and blog.  So I shall make up for it today with Pumpkin Cheesecake Trifle and Pumpkin Scones.  Makes me want to brew up a nice cuppa and settle in to wait for the hurricane that's about to take out my homeland (and with any luck, my piece of junk car).  I will also make up for it by sorting out the picture issue!  Check it out guys, pictures in not only this post, but all the ones from the rest of this month that were missing!  YEEHAW!

Get ready guys!  NEW PICTURES WILL HAPPEN IN THIS POST!

First, the trifle.  This one is pretty easy to whip up and lovely looking to serve at a party.  I do strongly recommend investing in some tall, clear glasses (trifle glasses, for example) to show off the loveliness of this tasty delicacy.  Naturally, I don't have such a thing.  I do have highball glasses though--short and squat but got the job done.  The recipe I found told me to use Biscoff cookies.  I have no stinkin' clue what the heck a Biscoff cookie is, nor could I find them in the stores.  So ginger snaps it is!  Put about 12-15 cookies in a plastic bag and smash them like they just insulted your mother.  Mix the crumbs with 1 tablespoon melted unsalted butter and press the crumb mixture into the bottom of each glass (4-6, depending on the size of your glasses) as a crust.  With a mixer or a whisk, beat together 8 ounces softened cream cheese, 1 cup pumpkin, 1 teaspoon vanilla extract, 1/2 cup sugar and 2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice till well blended and smooth.  Fold in half a tub of whipped topping and blend until there are no streaks.  Spoon or pipe some of the cheesecake mixture atop the crust, then a layer of whipped cream and continue alternating the two till the glass is filled.  Refrigerate until ready to serve.  If you want to dress them up, sprinkle some cinnamon or cookie crumbles over the top and enjoy!

Don't let the name fool you, these things are a seriously tasty dessert!

And now, everyone's favourite accompaniment: scones!  Combine 2 cups flour, 1/3 packed brown sugar, 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger, 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon, 1 teaspoon baking powder, 1/2 teaspoon baking soda and 1/4 teaspoon salt with a whisk.  Cut 1 stick unsalted butter into chunks and cut it into the dry ingredients until you've got coarse crumbs no larger than peas.  Mix in 1/3-1/2 cup butterscotch chips.  In a small bowl or large measuring cup, combine 1/2 cup buttermilk (or 1/2 cup milk with 1 1/2 teaspoons white vinegar--let it sit 5 minutes before moving along), 1/2 cup pumpkin and 1 teaspoon vanilla extract.  Add the wet to the dry, mixing till just combined--don't overwork the dough, or you'll end up with tough scones (I feel like there's a double entendre to be made there.  I'll leave it up to the classiest of my readers to do my dirty work).  Slap your messy, sticky dough onto a baking sheet covered in parchment paper (or foil) and shape it into a large circle.  Bake at 400 degrees for 22-25 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean.

Allow the scones to cool to room temperature before cutting into slices like a pizza.  Then prepare a glaze by whisking together 1 cup powdered sugar, 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon, and a dash each of ground nutmeg, ground ginger and ground cloves.  Add 2 teaspoons milk to start with; blend it in, adding tiny amounts of additional milk as needed until you have a nice thick glaze.  Drizzle the glaze over your scones and allow it to set before serving.  Om nom nom!

Scone.  Rhymes with gone.  As in, all gone in my belly!

The 13 Days of Pumpkin: #9

You guys, I've gotta be REALLY honest right now: I'm starting to get very tired of pumpkin.  It's friggin' everywhere in my kitchen.  I have eaten so much pumpkin...well.  Let's just say Yankee Best Friend knows the gory details.  The 13 Days of Pumpkin seemed like such a GREAT idea in the beginning, and now I'm just glad we're close to done.  I do it for you, folks, you better love me for it.

This haunts me in my dreams now.

Recipe #9: Pumpkin Snickerdoodles!  I've made plenty a cookie in my day, but never a snickerdoodle, so this was an adventure for me.  A very sticky and delicious adventure.  Start by preheating your oven to 400 degrees and line two baking sheets with parchment paper (or foil, as I did) so they're ready to go when you are.  Whisk together 2 3/4 cups flour, 2 teaspoons cream of tartar, 1 teaspoon baking soda (I am at this point in time mad broke and couldn't justify spending $4.99 on a tub of cream of tartar for one recipe, so I substituted 1 tablespoon baking powder plus 1/4 teaspoon baking soda), 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1/2 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice in a large bowl.  In a separate bowl, cream together 2 sticks unsalted butter and 1 1/2 cups sugar until light and fluffy.  Add 1 egg and stir.  Then add 3/4 cup pumpkin and stir.  Add the dry ingredients to the wet and mix until just combined.  In a shallow bowl or pie tin, combine 1/4 sugar and 2 tablespoons ground cinnamon.  Taking heaping globs of dough (my dough was super duper ridiculously sticky--I've consulted with my resident snickerdoodle expert to find out if this is normal) and roll them around in the cinnamon-sugar blend.  Plop your tasty little goo balls on your prepared sheets, leaving plenty of space for them to expand (another confession: I'm crap with spacing.  My cookies always end up morphing together), and toss one pan at a time in the oven for about 5 minutes.  Give the baking sheet a spin and bake another 6 minutes.  Your cookies should be set at the edges but still soft and puffy in the middle.  Let them cool on the cookie sheet about 5 minutes, then use a metal spatula to transfer them to a metal rack (I used a broiler tray, it's all I have!) to continue cooling.  I got about 20 nice big cookies out of this; probably would have had more, but a lot of dough (and I do mean a LOT) stuck to my fingers, so I quite possibly licked as many cookies off my fingers as I rolled the little goobers into creation.  Enjoy the delicious!

It doesn't translate so well in crayon, but they bake up looking a little like hot cross buns.

The 13 Days of Pumpkin: In Which I Discover My Piping Skills are Terrible

Hello again!  Tonight we continue on the birthday theme from Friday, celebrating with pumpkin cupcakes!  And this recipe comes with a bonus recipe for applesauce, which is a delicious and easy and seasonally appropriate thing to make this time of year (and let's be honest, a nice break from pumpkins at this point).

This picture is getting quite the workout.

Let's start with the applesauce.  I prefer making applesauce with McIntosh apples, but there weren't any last time I went to Trader Joe's (apparently the weird weather this spring was rough on this year's apple crops; they're already predicting higher prices for apples, so I suppose it follows that there may be a shortage of certain varieties--though I certainly hope I won't be entirely without my Mackies!) so I had to settle for honeycrisps, which have a bit of tartness like a McIntosh but are much tinier.  If you've got tiny apples, use about 8 of them; about 6 if you've got bigger ones.  You can peel your apples at the start or, if you're feeling particularly adventuresome, you can fish them out after the sauce is done.  Slice and core your apples and toss them in a large pot.  Throw in about 3/4 cup of water, 1/4 cup brown sugar and a pinch or two of ground cinnamon.  Set it on the stove over medium heat to simmer 15-20 minutes, then mash the apples and voila!  Throw the sauce in a mason jar while it's still warm and store in the fridge.

A recipe for delicious!

Hokay.  So.  CUPCAKES.  Start by throwing 24 paper liners into your cupcake tins.  Toss half a Golden Oreo (the creamed side) into each liner.  In a large bowl, combine 1/2 cup oil, 1/2 cup applesauce, 3 eggs and 1 teaspoon vanilla with a whisk.  Add 1 1/2 cups white sugar and 1 cup brown sugar and stir a few minutes till well blended.  Then add 1 can pumpkin.  In a separate bowl, stir together 2 3/4 cups flour, 1 teaspoon baking soda, 1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice, 2 teaspoons cinnamon, 1 teaspoon nutmeg and 1/2 teaspoon salt.  Add your dry ingredients to your wet and stir till just blended.  Fill your cupcake liners about 3/4 of the way full (I found the 1/2 cup measuring cup worked nicely for this) and bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean.  Allow the cupcakes to cool completely, then you can frost them. 

To make the frosting, whip 1 pint heavy whipping cream till stiff peaks form (if you're doing this by hand, I recommend doing this in halvsies, or you'll likely end up with carpal tunnel).  Then blend in 2 teaspoons vanilla extract and 1 cup confectioner's sugar.  If you don't have the swanky proper icing bag and fancy pants tips, just spoon the frosting into a gallon Ziploc bag and give a corner a snip and it does the job just fine.  Dress up your tastycakes with a little sprinkling of pumpkin pie spice or ground cinnamon.  Aren't they pretty!  (They are, trust me.  I sent a picture to my parents today, they'll corroborate.  And once I fix the scanner, you'll see too!)

The icing is white in real life.  White crayon sadly doesn't show up real well on white paper.

The 13 Days of Pumpkin: Birthday Shoutout!

Where's your party hat, pumpkin?!

Today is an historic day: First, it marks the day in 1781 that the combined American and French armies forced General Lord Cornwallis to surrender the British army, effectively ending the American Revolution, and second, it marks the official entry of my father into senior citizenhood!  Yeehaw and happy day, Yankee Daddy!  (It's also my cousin's birthday--significantly less advanced in years than my dad--so I'd like to happy day holla at him!)

There was a year when my sister and I were little that my dad was unemployed and we got to spend a lot of quality time with Yankee Daddy.  The thing I remember best of all from this time was the French toast he would make for us some mornings (and that my sister picked up on my dad's English accent and started dropping her R's).  So in honour of Yankee Daddy's day of birth and our fest of fall gourd, tonight's recipe is Pumpkin French Toast.

A very simple yet scrumptious recipe: In a shallow bowl or pie tin, whisk together 3 eggs, 1/2 cup milk, 3/4 canned pumpkin and 1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice until smooth.  Slather both sides of sliced bread in the mixture and cook 1-2 minutes each side on a hot skillet or griddle until golden.  Top with maple syrup and serve with your favourite breakfast side (did someone say BACON?!).  Told you it was simple!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY POPS!  I LOVE YOU!

Birthday Toast!  Make a wish!

The 13 Days of Pumpkin: A Cake with a Dirty Name

(Sad news: Scanner and Computer are still not getting along.  They are in therapy, working on their issues, and we are hoping to come to an amicable resolution as soon as possible.  EDIT:  These issues are fixed.  Clearly.)

I can see this fella being turned into a carriage, can't you?

ZOMG!  YOU GUYS!  I did something awesome tonight.  I had (lots of) leftover pumpkin soup and some leftover glazed walnuts from the pudding, so I garnished the soup with the walnuts and it was awesome.  Seriously.  You should try it and find out for yourself.

Okay, awesome leftover magic ramble over.  Let's get on with today's recipe: Pumpkin Dump Cake.  Not THAT kind of dump, you nasty little sillies (Jamie, I'm looking at you)!  The dump cake is a crazy easy kind of culinary masterpiece that might be exclusive to the southern regions of this great country of ours, as I'd never heard of such a thing before migrating this way.  I first heard tell of it from a former roomie (from a former house) whose family made dump cakes of various...er...varieties on camping trips (apparently they're great for Dutch ovens.  Oh please, seriously?  Dump cakes and Dutch ovens?  We can't escape the grade school toilet humour, can we?!).  The premise of a dump cake is that you just dump ingredients into a cooking vessel--nothing swanky or complicated.

You're welcome.

So here's what we do for this dump cake: Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and spray a 9"x13" baking pan.  In a large bowl, combine a 15 ounce can of pumpkin, a 10 ounce can of evaporated milk (or two 5 ounce cans as I had to do because the store I was in only had them in 5 and 12 ounce cans.  Incidentally, if this stuff is supposed to be evaporated, why is there still liquid in the can?), 1 cup brown sugar, 3 eggs and 3 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice.  Dump this into your prepared pan.  Dump 1 box yellow cake mix on top of this (well, more like sprinkle it over top as evenly as possible).  Then dump coarsely crushed graham crackers and coarsely chopped walnuts on top of that (again, really more a sprinkle).  Finally, dump 1 cup (2 sticks) melted butter over the whole shebang, throw it in the oven and bake 45-50 minutes, or until the center is set and the edges are nicely browned.  It's a tasty little contraption, I can tell you that!

The 13 Days of Pumpkin: Pudding!

(Note: I drew several lovely pictures to accompany this post, but my scanner and computer appear to be having a lover's quarrel and aren't communicating, so alas, no new doodles.  I will have another go at scanning tomorrow, I promise!)

Who doesn't love pudding?  I see no hands.  That's because EVERYONE loves pudding.  And because this is The 13 Days of Pumpkin, tonight we are making Pumpkin Pudding.

It's just such a good pumpkin, I feel the need to put it in every pumpkin post.

Hokay!  First, throw 6 tablespoons sugar and 2 tablespoons cornstarch into a saucepan over medium heat.  In a bowl, combine 1 3/4 cup low fat milk (I used 1%) and 1 egg with a whisk.  Slowly add the milk mixture to the sugar mixture on the stove, stirring constantly.  Bring to a boil and cook 1 minute, and KEEP STIRRING!  Remove the pan from the burner and turn the heat to medium low.  Combine 1/2 cup pumpkin, 1 teaspoon vanilla extract, 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon, 1/8 teaspoon salt and 1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg in a bowl.  Slowly add this mixture to the saucepan, whisking constantly.  Put the pan back on the burner and cook 3 minutes until heated through and--you guessed it--KEEP STIRRING.  Also, do not boil.  Divide the pudding evenly between four small cups or bowls (I conveniently have 4 tiny coffee mugs that came with the dinnerware set my Gram sent me when I moved out that are just perfect for the job), cover them in cling film and set them in the fridge to set and chill.

I like most things better than coffee, so pudding is a no brainer.

To make a lovely little topping for the puddings, we shall make our own whipped cream and glazed walnuts.  What!  Sounds so fancy, yet is surprisingly easy to do.  First, the nuts.  Cover a cooking sheet with foil and slather that puppy with cooking spray.  Coarsely chop 1/4 cup of walnuts and toss them in a skillet with 2 tablespoons sugar and a dash of salt.  Cook over medium-low to medium heat to dissolve the sugar (the recipe told me to do this over low heat and that it would take about 3 minutes to accomplish--Commie lies, unless they have a magic fast cooking low setting on their stove or a Cheaty McCheaterson clock), stirring frequently to prevent the sugar from burning and to coat the walnuts.  Spread the nuts on your greased foil and allow them to cool.

While everything is chilling and cooling, you can make your whipped cream, which is not a challenging thing but is quite a nice arm workout!  Pour 1/4 cup (or more) heavy whipping cream into a small bowl and whip the bloody bejesus out of it until stiff peaks form.

To serve, top each cup of pudding with a dollop of whipped cream and a sprinkling of nuts.  Voila!  It's like pumpkin pie without the crust and the hassle of baking!

The 13 Days of Pumpkin: SOUP!

Okay, Recipe #4 and I think it's time for something savoury and pumpkinny for a change.  This recipe came to me via an email from the oh-so-delectable Panera last year and because it was so delicious when I made it then, I thought it would be a perfect addition to this month's repertoire.

Bibbi-di-bobbi-di-soup!

In typical Yankee Baker fashion, something screwy had to happen with this recipe when I went to start it, viz a viz, I forgot to buy fresh carrots (yes, I've finally run out of those, uh, spectacular little creatures former roommie left behind).  I also forgot to pick up more garlic cloves, but I did remember the coconut milk and vegetable broth, so things could have been worse.  The garlic I knew wouldn't be too much of an issue since I have more powdered garlic in my spice cupboard than any sane person should probably rightfully own (blame other former roomie for buying spices I already own!), but not even I can make carrots appear out of thin air.  Just when I was starting to despair, I remembered: bagged carrots weren't the only ones former roomie left behind!  CANNED CARROTS!  Who ever thought this guy would be my culinary hero?  Seriously.  Cos I didn't.

Who could forget these lovely fellows?

Hokay, so, turns out what I didn't have I did have in alternative forms, and Curried Pumpkin Soup could commence.  Get thee a large pot.  Into it, toss 1 tablespoon canola oil  and 1 tablespoon butter.  Heat through over medium heat.  Add 1 cup chopped onion (I don't like onion much therefore don't typically have them to hand, so you can substitute 1 teaspoon onion powder), 3/4 cup chopped carrots, 2 cloves minced garlic (or 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder), 2 teaspoons fresh minced ginger (or 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger) and 1 1/2 teaspoons curry powder.  Cook it up till the carrots are tender, about 5-8 minutes (unless you're using canned carrots, in which case only about 2-3 minutes).  Add 1 1/2 cups vegetable broth and bring to a boil.  Reduce heat to medium-low, cover and simmer 10 minutes.  Stir in 2 15 oz cans of pumpkin, 1 cup coconut milk (the unsweetened kind), 1/2 teaspoon salt and a pinch of sugar and cook it up for 2 minutes.  Transfer to a blender or food processor and puree until smooth.  Toss it all back into the pot and heat through.  Serve with some delicious crusty bread!

The 13 Days of Pumpkin, Continued--or, My Misadventures with Pumpkin Bread

Pumpkin recipe number three is chocolate chip pumpkin bread.  Here's the deal: it's delicious, and it's still baking.  How does this work, you ask?  Well, I followed the instructions and baked the loaves at 325 degrees for 50-55 minutes or until a toothpick came out clean, specifically 50 minutes and the toothpick came out clean.  So I removed the bread, let it cool, and when I went to cut a slice, figured it'd be easier to remove said slice if I had the bread out of the pan.  So I flipped the pan over, the bread slid out, the slice came off, I ate it, and it tasted like manna from heaven.  And then I went to pick up the loaf to wrap it in foil.  And the bread fell apart.  By the time I finally managed to flip it over into the foil, there was a massive gaping oozing hole in the middle of the loaf--the outer regions of the bread were done, but the middle was still as liquid and unbaked as the batter I poured in the pan. 

So I cranked the oven back on, threw both loaves back inside for 15 minutes.  Still gooey.  10 more minutes.  Gooey.  Up the temp to 350, 10 more minutes.  4 minutes in, I start smelling burning.  Run into the kitchen.  The sliced end of the one loaf is getting overdone.  The rest of it?  Goo.  Stress eat a pumpkin popper.  Let the bread go the last 6 minutes on the timer.  Slightly less goo than before, but still goo.  10 more minutes on the timer. 

Oh praise cheesus.  This seems to have done the trick!  Let's see, that was an hour and 10 minutes at 325 and 20 minutes at 350.  My recipe was communist lies!  Basically, just bake this puppy till it decides to be done.  At least you get your exercise getting up and down to check on it.  You won't have to feel guilty about eating a lot of this bread.



I would have been angrier if the unbaked part wasn't so tasty.

All right, so what goes into this delicious yet annoyingly difficult to bake creation?  3 1/2 cups flour, 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon, 2 teaspoons baking soda and 1 teaspoon baking powder, sifted together into a mixing bowl.  In a separate bowl, cream together 2 2/3 cup sugar and 2/3 cup butter (this is equal to one stick plus 2 2/3 tablespoons).  To this mixture, add a total of 4 eggs, but add them one at a time, mixing after each egg.  Then add 1 can pumpkin.  Now alternate mixing in portions of the dry ingredients you sifted together in the beginning and 2/3 cup water.  Add in 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips.  This is your lovely batter that just doesn't seem to want to bake after you pour into greased loaf pans (makes two loaves).  My suggestion?  Forget the baking.  Just eat the batter.

The 13 Days of Pumpkin--Day One

Here's a little insight to everyone's favourite Yankee Baker:

Autumn is my favourite season.

October is my favourite month.

Hallowe'en is my favourite holiday.

Pumpkins are my favourite gourds.

We're gonna bibbi-di-bobbi-di-boo this into something delish!

So needless to say, it's an exciting time of year in the Yankee Baker house.  And, as promised, today marks the official kickoff to THE 13 DAYS OF PUMPKIN!!  Yippee!!  Moving forward to the end of the month, I will offer thirteen different and (hopefully) easy things to do with those lovely orange fellows.  Today's post is chock full of hints and recipes to get you started.

First.  When I mention pumpkin in a recipe, I'm referring to pumpkin puree, which you can purchase in the stores (typically in the baking aisle, though this time of year stores sometimes have it out in more auspicious places) or, if you're feeling plucky, make yourself.  Use the small sugar pumpkins.  Slice them into chunks, clean out the innards, boil to separate the flesh from the skin, then run the flesh through a food processor.  I haven't done it myself, so I'm assuming this method works.  I find it WAY easier to just pick up a few cans of the stuff already done.  BUT--and this is Very Important--make sure you get PLAIN PUMPKIN PUREE.  Do not get pumpkin pie filling.  The can should say "100% Pumpkin" on it, meaning no spices or anything have been added.  Plain.  Simple.  Pumpkin goop.  Also, it can be good to note that one 15 ounce can of pumpkin puree is equal to about 1 1/2 cups.  If you're very accurate with your measurements, you may be able to eke out 1 3/4 cups, but I like to be generous with my pumpkin, so 1 1/2 cups for me.

100% pumpkin yes.  Pumpkin pie filling no.

Second.  Pumpkin pie spice.  It appears in several of these recipes (though not the ones I'm featuring in this post).  You can purchase pumpkin pie spice from the store, OR mix up your own batch, since the ingredients in pumpkin pie spice are probably already in your spice cupboard.  You need: 4 tablespoons ground cinnamon, 4 teaspoons ground nutmeg, 4 teaspoons ground ginger and 1 tablespoon ground allspice.  Mix 'em all together and store your magic in an old spice container until I post something that requires it.

Hokay.  RECIPE TIME!!!  Tonight we will feature TWO fabulous pumpkin recipes.  Number uno: Pumpkin Biscuitti.  Yankee Dog's birthday was last week, so I though we'd get The 13 Days of Pumpkin rolling with a little something for the four-legged critters we love.  Pumpkin is actually great for canine digestion (try mixing a couple tablespoons of pumpkin puree into your dog's food if he ever has an upset tummy), so this crunchy snacks are healthy and happy for your pooch!  The recipe is incredibly simple: in a bowl, mix together 2 1/2 cups flour (whatever kind of flour you want: oat, whole wheat, brown rice, whatever), 2 eggs, and 3/4-1 cup pumpkin.  The original recipe only called for 1/2 cup of pumpkin, but the dough is super duper dry and needed something more, so I added more pumpkin.  Stir the goods all together (do your best; as I said, the dough is dry but at least it's a good arm workout), then dump out onto a lined baking pan.  Shape into a log about 2" wide and 12" long; smooth the top out.  Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven for 20 minutes.  Slice into 1/4"-1/2" pieces and bake another 20 minutes.  Let them cool before feeding to Fido!  Store remaining biscuitti in an airtight container in the fridge.  Yankee Dog gives them two paws up!

Two paws!  That's a rave review!

And now, recipe deux: Pumpkin Poppers, aka "Pumpkin Donut Muffins Covered in Crack."  These things are mega awesome.  You need two mixing bowls.  In one, put 1 3/4 cup flour, 2 teaspoons baking powder, 1/2 teaspoon salt, 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon, 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg, 1/2 teaspoon ground allspice and 1/8 teaspoon ground cloves (I only had whole cloves to hand, so instead of buying ground cloves, I mushed some up in the mortar and pestle.  Yes, I'm too lazy to process my own pumpkin, but not to grind cloves.  Don't judge).  Blend your dry ingredients together with a whisk.  In bowl two, combine 1/3 cup vegetable oil, 1/2 cup brown sugar, 1 egg, 1 teaspoon vanilla extract, 3/4 cup pumpkin and 1/2 cup low-fat milk.  Add your mixed dry ingredients to your mixed wet ingredients and stir till everything is just blended.  Don't overstir.  This will be a nice thick, wet and slightly lumpy batter.  Slap heaping teaspoons of the batter into the cups of a greased muffin tin.  This should be enought batter to fill all twelve cups of a standard sized muffin tin--these would be great (possibly better) to make in a mini muffin tin, because then they'd be more like donut holes (I'll have to experiment with Yankee Mama's mini tin next time I'm in Yankeeland).  Bake 12-15 minutes in a preheated 350 degree oven.  While your poppers are baking, melt one stick butter in a microwave safe bowl.  In another bowl, blend together 2/3 cup white sugar and 2 tablespoons ground cinnamon.  After the poppers are done, allow them to cool 5-10 minutes, then slather them in melted butter and roll them around in the cinnamon sugar.  And then try not to eat them all in one go.  OMMMMMMMMM NOMMMMMMMM.

Crayola needs to make a "cinnamon sugar sparkle" crayon.

Stay tuned, my darlings, for the next installment of The 13 Days of Pumpkin!

A Few Notes on Bread

Just a little note for you all today as we enter into my Very Favourite Month Ever: October.  I've been busy collecting recipes and trying to select a few Really Good ones for a special October series of posts I will be calling: The 13 Days of Pumpkin, debuting later this week.  Month.  Week.  I dunno.  Sometime before October is over, I promise.  In the meantime, I wanted to update you on a couple things I learned about the bread recipes I've posted here and here.

I have an awesome hippie friend from the dog park with whom I shared a loaf of the infamous zucchini bread.  As awesome hippies are wont to do, he decided to go wild mushroom hunting and ate his bounty, thinking they were the kind of mushroom that was okay to eat.  Alas, he was wrong, and ended up with a beastly case of wild mushroom poisoning.  But then!  He ate a piece of my zucchini bread and found himself miraculously cured!  Or at least feeling soothed and more balanced--I chalk it up to the yogurt in the recipe, which contains probiotics for intestinal fortitude, and the zucchini itself, which has anti-inflammatory properties.  It's also related to pumpkin, and pumpkin is known to help regulate digestion, so I suppose the zuke does the same/similar.  (These statements have not been verified by the FDA.)  Regardless of where the magic comes from, the point is, my zucchini bread IS magic when you eat mushrooms you shouldn't have!  Woohoo!

My awesome hippie friend is also a big bread baker, so he was excited to give the Dutch oven crusty bread a go, but he made one crucial error: he put the rising dough in the fridge!  Remember, if you make this bread, to leave it to rise at room temperature.  Don't put it in the fridge EVER!  Awesome hippie friend will tell you: bad news bears.  The dough won't rise and after baking, all you'll have is a ridiculous blobby mess suitable only for the wildlife.

I picked up a pointer myself in baking my second and third loaves of the crusty bread.  I did another plain loaf and on of rosemary garlic (just add about 5-6 chopped cloves of garlic and maybe 1-2 teaspoons of rosemary [I didn't actually measure, just used the last of my bottle--just make sure when you stir the dough you see a little bit of rosemary everywhere]) and baked them back-to-back.  I noticed the dough this time around was massively sticky, so bad that I had to use another cup of flour in trying to shape it into a ball and still scrape most of the dough off the pasty cloth with a pasty cutter to get it into the oven.  At first I thought I had miscounted my scoops of flour, but since both loaves were soupy, I think the issue lie with how long and let the dough sit.  The first time around, the dough went easily 18, maybe more, hours and I had no problem working it.  For these loaves, it was just over 12.  Some more experimentation may be needed, but I'm going to go ahead and suggest letting your dough sit more toward the 18 hour mark than the 12.  The bread turned out just fine, it was just a pain in the posterior to get from the bowl to the Dutch oven.

So that's it for now; stay tuned for the 13 Days of Pumpkin, coming to a Confessions of a Yankee Baker blog post near you soon!

In Which I Get In Touch With My Inner Farmwife

I've just been lazy.  That's my only excuse.  Sorry about that.  I've been busy in the kitchen but lazy with the blogging so to atone for that, I will be featuring not one, not two, but THREE delicious things to try.  And even better?  They relate to each other and would make for a fabulous autumn picnic snack.  So strap on your cooking pants, my friends, here we go!

Strawberry-Blackberry Jam
Yankee Mama was shocked I was willing to eat my own jammy goodness, since historically I'm not a jam eater.  But this stuff is so good!  It just begs to be nommed up on everything.  Making jam is not a difficult process, but I warn you: it is a filthy one.  Seriously.  Filthy.  If you don't like making a mess or cleaning said mess, I strongly encourage you to just go buy some jam and skip down to the cheese part of this post.  If you've girded your loins for splashes and splatters and immense amounts of scrubbing, then read on.

Hokay, so.  Get yourself a quart of strawberries and a pint of blackberries.  Dump these in a large pot and smoosh them with a potato masher.  Embrace the chunky bits.  Slowly stir in 3 tablespoons of powdered pectin.  Bring the mixture to a thick roiling boil, stirring constantly.  Remember my warning about jam making?  Enter the mess.  Embrace that, too.  Dump in 3 1/3 cups sugar and stir to dissolve.  Return to a hard boil for one minute, stirring constantly.  Remove from heat.  Skim foam if necessary.  Can appropriately.  Makes about 5 half pints.

Behold the mess.  I call it: "Jam Scene Investigation."  Oh, and see the splatters on TOP of the hood?  That really happened.

 

 



Farm Cheese
Mess potential here much lower than jam, so neatnicks, relax.  It's also a very simple recipe and easy enough to increase or decrease depending on how much you want to make.  I ended up halving the recipe I had written down (unintentionally, this was the result of faulty milk math in the market), and it made a neat small quantity of a crumbly soft cheese (similar to cream cheese) that I think I can eat before it goes gross.  If you want to make more cheese, just double what I'm giving you here.

Pour one quart whole milk and 1/2 cup heavy cream into a saucepan.  Add a pinch of salt and heat everything till just before boiling, stirring frequently to avoid scalding.  The best way to do this is to not set the burner to HI, but a couple notches below.  When you start to see little bubbles on the surface, you can call it a day.  Remove the pan from heat and add 1/2 cup white vinegar.  Allow the mixture to curdle (doesn't take long).  Now the slightly tricky, potentially messy part: straining the cheese to separate the curds and whey (and no, it doesn't involve a tuffet or a spider).  Use a cheesecloth or gauze or some other loose weave fabric.  Use a large piece, it will make things easier.  Spread your cheesecloth over the mouth of a large bowl (like a mixing bowl).  I used a rubber band to hold the fabric to the bowl--but make sure you don't pull the fabric tightly, or everything will just spill off.  Slowly pour the contents of your saucepan through the cloth into the bowl.  The curds will collect in the fabric and the whey will strain through.  Carefully collect the edges of the fabric together with the curds and use the rubber band to secure them in a bundle.  Hang the bundle from a cabinet handle over the bowl to allow the rest of the liquid to drain.

Kinda like this.

Leave it to drain for a few hours till it stops dripping.  Unwrap your cheese and store it in a little Tupperware fellow and store in the fridge.  Voila!  You have made cheese!

 

 

Dutch Oven Crusty Bread

This recipe came via the blog Simply So Good and I have to thank Yankee Mama for finding it for me, because OMG it's amazing.  Here's just the basic recipe, but you can add delicious things to the dough to make sweet or savory breads like ones you'd otherwise spend lots of money on at bakeries.  And once again, when I talk about a Dutch oven, I'm not talking a toot in the sheets.

 

In a large mixing bowl, whisk together 3 cups flour, 1 3/4 teaspoon salt and 1/2 teaspoon yeast.  Add 1 1/2 cups water and mix into a sticky, shaggy dough.  Cover the bowl with cling film and leave on the counter at room temp for 12-18 hours.  The dough will puff up as it proofs.  Once your dough is a giant poofball, preheat your oven to 450 degrees, then put your Dutch oven in for 30 minutes to heat up.  Remember the Dutch oven will be HOT, so don't touch it without potholders!  (And if you do, refer to this post :) )  While your ovens are heating, dump your dough onto a heavily floured surface and roll it into a ball.  Cover it with your cling film while you wait for your ovens.  Once the Dutch oven is hot, flour your hands and add your dough ball (the dough is super duper sticky, you really will want to flour your hands for this).  Pop the lid on and bake for 30 minutes.  Then remove the lid and bake for an additional 15 minutes.  And then you have an amazing and delicious bread!

 

The pictures on Simply So Good do it better justice.  And in real life, even better!

 

This bread is delicious on its own or shmeared with any variety of delicious shmear...like the farm cheese and jam you just made!  The cheese is pretty crumbly but once you get the jam in there they mix together and spread nicely.  Om nom nom!

 







In Memorium

For those of you who noticed the gap in posts here a couple weeks ago (and perhaps none of you did, since I'm not what anyone would consider "regular" with my posting), the reason for that is a sad one.  I should have mentioned in my opening post that I use "Yankee" somewhat ironically, seeing my father's entire heritage is English (and he himself is one of those straight-off-the-boat type immigrants) and I am rather an Anglophile (you've noticed the -our and -ise?), despite living in the good ol' US of A.  Regretfully, I never got to visit the Motherland, nor, more importantly, the family living there, as often as I would have liked, so I can't say I'm at all close with my relations there, but distance certainly doesn't affect the love you inherently feel for those with whom you share some DNA.  On July 20th, I received the sad news of the death of my dad's mother.  The idea for this particular post developed almost instantly, but I was waiting for the details of her funeral, as I wanted to post it that day.  So here we are, then.

She wasn't an easy woman, my Nan, but she could knit like a fiend and gave the very best squeezy bear hugs.  Today her ashes will be scattered at her lawn bowls club, to mingle with those of the husband she lost several years ago.  I love you, Nan, and we all miss you.

Since I can't be in England today to see her off, I wanted to do a tribute post to celebrate her life.  First, we need her drink.  She had two, actually, sherry neat and a shandy.  I like sherry, and I would happily have toasted her with said liquor, except I'm poor.  I do, however, have plenty of beer on hand and lemonade is cheap, so we are experimenting with shandies today, for my Nan.  Beer and lemonade.  Hm.

Well hey!  There's a pleasant little surprise.  Beer plus lemonade doesn't suck!  In fact, it's actually quite tasty and refreshing!  Good taste, Nan, and cheers!

Next we have the main course, a British standard that Nan made us when we visited back in '97, a dish so delicious that I've made it one of my specialties: Shepherd's Pie.  This is a recipe I first got from a book called Traditional British Recipes, it's the recipe my dad the Englishman calls shepherd's pie, and yet a friend of mine recently asked the question, "Is it real shepherd's pie or is it cottage pie?"

A shepherd.  Tending a sheep.

Turns out, there's a recent distinction in some circles between shepherd's pie, which they claim should be made with lamb, since that's what shepherd's deal in, and cottage pie, which should be made with beef, since that's what...hang on a tick.  There seems to be a kink in the logic here.  I was taught it was called shepherd's pie because it was an easy dish for shepherds to take with them into the field.  And I've even used ground turkey in this recipe, when I suddenly realised I was down to half a pound of beef and was attempting to feed several men.  Wikipedia, the all-knowing and never wrong, seems to favour my theory that there is, in fact, no real difference between a shepherd's pie and a cottage pie, except to these few individuals that think shepherds would like to eat their own little lambs and cottages have an affinity for cows.  The point of this tirade is that it's a shepherd's pie, regardless of what meat you feel like using, and it's certainly shepherd's pie for the purposes of this post because it's my blog.  So there.  Hmph.

A cottage.  Doesn't tend much.

So how does one go about making a shepherd's pie?  I'm happy to say that it's a relatively easy thing to throw together, something even those of you with dangly bits could handle (yes, Southern Blogger, I'm talking to you), though it's not something you want to do when you're massively hungry.  I'd stick to the drive-thru then, as shepherd's pie is a bit of a time taker.

The key to shepherd's pie is the mashed potatoes.  They seem like such an easy thing to make, but I have seen some abominations in my day, so I'm actually going to go step by step and teach you the proper way to make them--if you make them any other way, you are likely a Communist and should start making them my way immediately.

Start with real potatoes.  Potatoes from a box or a packet are not potatoes.  Real potatoes.  Peel them.  Wash them.  Cut them, and cut them small. 

Yankee Baker's mum gets mad when I insist on cutting them small, but I'm always asked to make the mashed potatoes when I'm home, so I think that says something.  Don't mince them, they don't need to be THAT small, but say, quarter inchish or so--they will cook faster and mash nicer.  Toss your small potatoes into a pot (use a pot large enough to give you room to mash), just cover them with water, add some salt, cover the pot, throw it on the stove to boil.  When the tatties get boiling, turn the heat down to simmer and allow to cook.  Test tenderness with a knife; once you can slide through them easily, your spuds are done.  Drain potatoes.  Add a chunk of butter and a few splashes of milk.  Again, I recommend something with a little fat, and also real cow milk--I have been forced to make mashed potatoes with almond milk in desperate times, and they turn out all right, but not quite as creamy and a little grey looking.  Real cow milk, say of the 2% fat variety, will give you really lovely mashies.  Add just a couple splashes of milk to start with; better to have too little than too much, you don't want soup.  Use a proper potato masher (though in dire circumstances I have Macguyvered a pastry cutter to suit the purpose) and smash those puppies. 

Baking, arguably my forte.  Drawing potato mashers

with perspective, decidedly NOT.

I suppose the technique I use could be considered "whipping," as i use sort of a circular motion in the wrist.  Just make sure you get all the potatoes mashed in, no chunks, adding little bits of milk if needed.  And voila!  Proper mashed potatoes.

Okay, so for your shepherd's pie, get your potatoes started first.  While they're working up to a boil, get your meat going.  Ground whatever. 

Mutton, Beef, Turkey, Wild Game (not pictured),

Soylent Green (also not pictured.  Also not recommended.)

Toss it in a skillet, break it into bits, get it going.  Slice up some carrots--thin, so they don't take forever to cook--and, if you're so inclined to eat it, some onion.  I can't stand the texture of real onions in my mouth, so I just use onion powder or dehydrated minced onion.  Add your veg once the meat is no longer pink and let everything cook for a while.  By this point your tatties will be close to done.  When they are, drain about a cup of the water over a beef bullion cube (waste not, want not!) to create a stock.  This is where I do listen to Yankee Momma, who likes a nice moist shepherd's pie.  If you're making a large casserole to feed many mouths (a solid pound of meat, 5-6 potatoes), you want a full cup plus.  If you're doing a smaller casserole (half a pound meat, 3-4 potatoes), do about 3/4 cup.  Mash your mashies and set aside.  When the meat and veg are done cooking up (you want the meat to be brown and the carrots to not be overcooked), dump the lot into a casserole dish.  Add your stock, salt, pepper, parsley, thyme, Worcestershire (say it with me now: WOO-ste-shur) sauce and mix it around.  Top with mashed potatoes, like icing a cake!  Pop that puppy in a 350 degree oven for about 45-50 minutes.  Add shredded cheddar cheese and some more parsley and bake an additional 5 minutes, or until cheese is melted.  And now you have made shepherd's pie!

Our next and final recipe is, seeing as this is a memorial post, a Funeral Pie.  And the recipe will be preceded by a tremendous historical diatribe.  Gird your loins :)

I have a morbid obsession with all things, well, morbid.  I love ostheology/forensic anthropology (and am in deep thought about how to pursue this as a career without going back to school), I happily stroll through old graveyards, and I even developed a programme for a museum called "Death and Dying in the 18th Century" (not the cleverest of titles, but the programme itself was pretty bleeping epic).  There is a giant wall sized exhibit on the 7th floor of the Winterthur Museum showcasing early American mourning jewelry that makes me drool.  I have delivered a (drunken) chronology of headstone iconography.  Yes, I'm weird. 

I will have to leave it to my sister, the degree holding anthropologist, to speak to funerary customs of various aboriginal cultures, but in the Western world, funerals and food are very closely linked.  In modern day America, the bereaved are often plied with gifts of casseroles and other dishes that are easy to keep and easy to reheat, the logic being that those in grief are not going to be in any sort of shape to be cooking.  But this tradition of feasting around a funeral has even more pragmatic roots: quite frankly, nothing sticks it in the face of Death than a whole gang of folks stuffing their faces with life sustaining food.  In the 18th century, the bereaved family would organise a massive spread for those in attendance of the funeral, including, in certain cultures, special funeral treats.  The Dutch and English would bake small cakes in honour of the deceased, the Dutch often using caraway seeds to form the initials of the dead on the top of the cake.  The English would wrap their dead cakes in paper printed with initials and/or images of death: skull and crossbones, coffins, skeletons, death's heads and the like.  The transition begins toward the end of the 18th and into the 19th century, but prior to this time, we were all very accepting of death as a fact of life.  Everyone dies.  No avoiding it.  Young children, particularly in the Puritan northeast, were brought up to the coffin to look at the face of the deceased: see that, kids?  You'll get there some day.  A very popular epitaph on headstones prior to the 19th century went, in a jaunty little quatrain, "As I am now/You one day will be/So prepare for death/And follow me."  We see a slight softening of these harsh constructs as we get into the 1800s, and then Victoria takes the throne and, as with weddings and Christmas, everything changes.  Post-Victoria, we've turned death into rather a taboo--don't talk about it around the kids, and how many euphemisms do we have for it?  It's not all Vicky's fault, though; we can blame the advent of modern science and growth of hospitals as well for our present-day detachment from death.  Today we don't have to suffer the deaths of the young in such high numbers as we did in the past, infant and childhood mortality rates being much higher due to illnesses for which there were no cures, accidents and simple infections.  With medical advancements, people are surviving things they didn't use to and living much longer lives--and as a result, are typically dying in places like hospitals and nursing homes, removing the omnipresence of death seen in the early days of our history from our everyday lives.  The Germans-turned-Pennsylvania-Dutch retain to this day a funerary food custom that is the focus of this portion of today's post: funeral pie aka raisin pie (I guess for when you're making it on non-funeral days?  Or just to make it sound less morbid).  The traditional recipe for this pie uses only ingredients every kitchen would have in stock on a permanent basis: flour, sugar, butter and dried fruit (raisins, in this case), as you just never know when someone is going to die.  It's hard to make a traditional funerary pastry using anything fresh, as historically that particular ingredient wouldn't be available most times of the year.  So shrivelled up grapes win the show here, and I should make the note that I hate raisins.  I do however, enjoy sultanas, which is the classy Britishism for "golden raisins." 

Don't ask me why, but I like the green grape version better than the red grape version--and it honestly might have at least a little something to do with the word "sultana."  I should also note that for today's pie, I will be cheating and using the pre-made stuff.  Don't judge, I've already proven to you I can make a pie crust, and besides, I'm grieving.  So here we go, funeral pie.

1. Put 2 cups sultanas (or raisins) and 2 cups water into a saucepan.  Bring to a boil and allow to do so for 5 minutes.
2. While that's boiling up, combine 1/2 cup packed brown sugar, 2 tablespoons cornstarch, 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon and 1/4 teaspoon salt into a bowl.  Mix together.  Add this mixture to the sultanas after 5 minutes.  Knock the heat down a bit to avoid jam caliber mess and injury (I promise these is a story here and I promise it will be told in a future post) and stir the mixture till it's not cloudy (a few minutes), then remove from heat.
3. Add 1 tablespoon butter and 1 tablespoon lemon juice.  Stir together till butter is melted and let cool slightly.
4. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.  Line the bottom and sides of a 9" pie tin with one crust (or half of the dough you made if you decided to show me up and go from scratch), fill with cooled sultana mixture.
5. Top pie with second crust.  Pinch edges to seal, trim excess, slit top to vent.  Brush top with a bit of milk and sprinkle with a pinch of white sugar in a process I like to call "prettifying your pastry."
6. Bake at 400 degrees for 25 minutes, or till golden brown.  Allow to cool completely before nomming.

So there we are, kids.  In honour of my Nan, may she rest in peace, make yourself a shandy tonight while you whip up a nice shepherd's pie.  I won't encourage the funeral pie, because of context, but keep it on the back burner as a just-in-case.  Bless you, Nan, I miss you and love you, forever and always. xx